BACKYARD ROAST #2 - By Kingpin
Webmasters: This is all in good fun, don't take this too seriously. If you do maybe its your time to be roasted...

Lineage

Everyone has lineage. Some peopleís lineage can be traced back thousands of years through millions of civilizations. Lineage traceís our ancestors further than any Family Tree can decipher. Lineage shows no limits, for no one truly knows where lineage begins. Some would argue it started from Adam and Eve. Now, though that argument is filled with holes and holds little substantial evidence, that truly is all we have... unless of coarse you believe we are related to Curious George.

Now, you are probably wondering what this has to do with Backyard Wrestling. It has no direct effect, but it brings up a fairly strong point. Scotland, a land once roamed by the Legendary and Courageous William Wallace. A man who helped free a country from persecution. Youíve all seen "Braveheart", right? You know the story. However, chances are youíve all had the dissatisfaction of meeting a "Former" Backyard Wrestler named Rob McKay. Here are the proofs (the facts), Rob is from Scotland. So is William Wallace. However, that is where their similarities end. Wallace was known for waging great battles against the English in the honor of Freedom. His fellow countryman, Rob McKay is famous for nude pics of the Honky Tonk Man.

Rob McKay was once a backyard wrestler like the rest of us. He once knew the fun of being liberated to play out fantastic stories of honor and mayhem in his very own backyard. He once enjoyed this phenomenon that has swept the world by storm. He once bragged on the BYWL Message Board with clips of himself doing piledrivers.

Now, he is being trained. Now, he has quit backyard wrestling. Now, he is on his way to the Scottish Independent circuit. And yes, though he has no affiliation to Backyard Wrestling, now he is probably lurking around the Backyard Wrestling Link in search of his next argument. Normally I wouldnít care if somebody had pro-training, Iíd probably even embrace them taking this big step forward. In Robís case I almost feel saddened by it. I mean, itís not like we are losing a great presence in the Backyard Wrestling world. Rob McKay really blew at low budget sports entertainment. He had no charisma, he lacked "the look" and worst of all he had an ego that he couldnít back up. Just check out the Backyard Wrestling Message Board, the majority of Robís post hold a lower intellectual value than dick and fart jokes. In fact, most people feel as if they have lost IQ points after reading some of the shit he spews. His comments really leave me with only one question.

Why?

Why Rob? Why? Why in the hell do you feel it necessary to continue posting on the BYWL Message Board? Are you jealous? You know youíll never have the innate ability to entertain, that canít be taught. No, I donít think thatís why. Rob, you are a pedophile. You lurk around these webpages looking at little boys, feasting your eyes on their one-on-one encounters, groping yourself at personal pics of Jason Sailor and the BYWpics.com Webmaster. Youíre an In The Closet Cock Hound who got tired of regular adult websites. You needed social interaction. You logged on one day, and tapped into our community. At first you tried getting along, hoping to coerce your way into a friendship with a young boy like Christian Rave. You got your jollies while typing back and forth on the computer. Sending Instant Messages, only stopping to eaves drop on your own father taking a piss. Soon however, that regular relationship became too bland. You chose to elevate your tainted lifestyle. You started picking fights with your Internet Buddies, not because you donít like them, but some where in the back of your sick mind you assured yourself that there would be "make up sex" with your new found enemies.

Youíre sick Rob. You know your sick. Itís been published world wide at Rob.McKay.isgay.com and many other fine proprietors of daily news. Youíve taken something so sacred, so wonderful, something so powerful as Backyard Wrestling and you have turned it into your own personal Dildo, Rob. Youíve used it to get yourself off and youíve used it way to much. Weíve found you out, Rob. We know the truth now. And there will be NO denying the truth.

My Tip to Rob McKay: Give it up, weíre not gay and youíre not a Backyard Wrestler... it just wouldnít work out.


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