Hey, after a long hiatus, I've decided to finally drop a new column for everyone. =) Now, as per the request of Travis, this issue of Zero Tolerance will be entitled "How To Not Suck Ass." With that said, let me remind you that my e-mail address is, and the IDW website is =) And now, on with the column!

Ok, if you're starting a new fed, reviving a dead fed, or are just disappointed with the performance of your fed, then read on.

You suck if you're not good: Simply put, if you don't have good wrestlers, general ring skills, mic skills, not good at bleeding, or just don't really have anything going for you, then you suck. They way to remedy these problems are (applying to good wrestlers and ring skills) 1. Hold practices 2. Do some serious match planning 3. Get to be friendly with your wrestlers. (applying to mic skills) 1. Reherse mic spots. 2. Get in an e-fed and practice trash talk. 3. Watch more TV (Heh, TV arguements make you a smooth talker) As for bleeding, its not recommended, so I wont go into that, being as theres no real way to get better at it.

Make your shows look good: Ok, let me explain this one. If you're concerned about not sucking, then you're obviously trying to market something, or give people some sort of visual representation to prove that you don't suck. So, chances are that you'll be videotaping, or at least taking pictures of matches. So you want to have some sort of nice designated wrestling area, a designated entranceway, and a designated commentary area. Basically, make your shows organized. People have to know whats going on, and where its going on. Good organization makes this possible. Unorganized shows are REALLY hard to watch.

Keep the action fresh: You're going to need to switch up the action during your shows. All wrestling is ok, all mic spots is bad, all interviews is bad, but with the right combination of them all, you can have an exciting show. By mixing mic spots, wrestling, and interviews, you can keep your shows interesting, tie in storylines, and develop characters. So not only does this really make your show better, but it gets people addicted to your fed, which is going to be a plus. =)

Dead Air & No Action = SUCK: Most feds have commentators and know what Im talking about, but if you don't have a commentator, or even if you'd like to improve your commentary strategy, then read on. Wrestling is similar to radio in the sense that dead air makes everything shitty. Keep that commentator talking, because if no one is saying anything, and moves are being done, people can't really follow whats going on, especially if its either a particularly slow, or fast spot. Also, say you have two men down in a two man fight and no one is talking... just picture it... silence. Silence sucks. You need a commentator who can make even the most uneventful things seem like a big deal.

Be like Las Vegas: People are drawn towards pretty lights and special effects, its as simple as that. Make your show special. Now while I know some things you may be thinking are illegal in some states (IE fireworks), you're not going to get in a whole load of trouble for using them. To go a safer route, you might want to invest in smoke machines, strobe lights, ghetto laser lights, etc. Anything to make your show that much more eye catching. Also, LOUD entrance music is always a plus. =) Get some sort of stero to your wrestling area, not some weak-ass boombox or anything like that. Also, have a CD or tape reayd with the wrestlers music on it. No random music, oh no.

Selling, Execution, etc.: If you do your moves sloppily, slowly, or imperfectly, then you're not going to get any large margin of recognition or respect from anyone. A simple remedy to this is to hold regular practices, watch tapes with your wrestlers, and talk over big moves and/or high spots. Make sure that everyone knows whats going on so nothing in the matches will be botched. After events, watching videotapes of YOURSELVES will help you identify problems with your wrestling, sloppy areas, and things that could be improved upon... it also gives you an excuse to watch really cool spots in slow-mo. =)

Well, I lost track of what issue this is, so I hope you enjoyed. Also, I'd like to send my deepest condolances to anyone who was affected by Tuesdays tragedy. Myself and many other are all praying for the general well being of America. Till next time...

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